Ontological Coaching Institute

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OBSERVING DIFFERENTLY March 2021 

 
Alan Sieler

Welcome to our second issue of Observing Differently for the year.

We continue to be very grateful for the existence of technology that enables us to continue to run our courses online. Already this year we have run many segments of the 18 month Certified Ontological Coaching and Leadership Program in Australia, South Africa and Europe, as well as the three-day Ontological Coaching and Leadership in Action workshop in South Africa, Asia and Europe.

Until the COVID vaccine roll out is complete and shown to be effective we will continue to offer online options for both programs (see dates below). However, in anticipation of the continued reduction in COVID cases in South Africa, we will be offering the three-day workshop in-person toward the end of April.

And now to the article for this issue – and what a beautifully written piece this is, focusing on what we consider to be a basic mood of life, which is the mood of Resentment. South African ontological graduate Claudia Boers has written very insightfully about her own experience of this mood and what she has learned in working with coaching clients. Claudia has developed a highly successful global coaching practice since completing the 18-month course a few years ago, with moods being an integral part of her coaching. I think you will find this absorbing and beneficial reading.

Until the next issue ... very best wishes.

Alan Sieler


Article

Using Requests to Constructively Deal with Anger
By Claudia Boers

"How dare they?" "She just doesn’t care." "He’s so selfish." "It’s so obvious, why would they do it like that?" "It’s so unfair!" "He’s done it all wrong again, is he stupid?" "She’s going to pay for this." "Why do I have to do everything if I want it done properly?" "I wish people would pay attention!" "She’s just lazy!"

Welcome to the mood of Resentment. Does any of this frustration, anger, harsh negative judgement and criticism (in contrast to critique) feel familiar to you? If so, you’re not alone. Resentment, which is what I call this cluster of emotions, is a mood many of us get trapped in. It’s one of the most difficult moods to overcome because we get hooked by its satisfying energy and enticing sense of superiority. We suffer in this mood because being stuck in Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for your enemy to die - the person who actually suffers the most is the person who’s seething. So how do we productively navigate our way out of Resentment? Read on to learn how the simple act of making an effective request can free us from this toxic mood.

Resentment focuses on the past at the cost of the future

In Resentment, we become fixated on what’s already happened. The problem with this is that what’s done is done and it’s not going to change. This might be something that’s happened or the way someone’s behaved, but it’s past tense. There might be an element of anticipation that a certain behaviour or issue will continue, but Resentment itself is about historical facts. One of my clients, Susan, used to get frustrated by what she considered to be the lack of initiative and job dedication shown by a younger member of her team. "She’s so lazy and doesn’t seem to care. When I was in her position I worked my socks off. Nothing was too much - I’d stay late and go above and beyond to show how invested I was in the company. Storme never does anything she doesn’t have to, and yet she’s disappointed at the average performance rating I’ve given her. This generation is unbelievable!" As you can see from this example, in Resentment we end up looking back and feeling wrong done by and indignant, or just plain furious, and this is where we get stuck. It’s not a nice place to be.

»  Read the article in the Interpersonal Relationships section

The Ontological Coaching Institute operates as the Newfield Institute in Australia and New Zealand.

UPCOMING PROGRAMS

ONTOLOGICAL COACHING AND LEADERSHIP IN ACTION WORKSHOPS 2021

SOUTH AFRICA (In-person)
• Cape Town 20 - 22 April 2021

ASIA (Online)
• 11, 15 & 17 June 2021

NORTH AMERICA (Online)
• August 2021 - exact dates to be announced

EUROPE and UK (Online)
• To be announced

»  Find out more



CERTIFIED ONTOLOGICAL COACHING AND LEADERSHIP PROGRAM

SOUTH AFRICA
• Next program commences early February 2022

EUROPE and UK (Online)
• Next program commences in 2022

ICF Accreditation

This program has received ACTP (Accredited Coach Training Program) status from the International Coach Federation.

»  Find out more


 
Ontological Coaching Institute

Ontological Coaching Institute
Corporate and Personal Transformation

Head Office
7 Rigani Court, Blackburn VIC 3130
AUSTRALIA

TEL: +61 3 9878 5501

info@ontologicalcoaching.com.au · www.ontologicalcoaching.com.au

Cape Town · Johannesburg · Brussels · Hong Kong