Moods: An Opportunity for Human Evolution Part III

By Alan Sieler

It is worth commencing this final article in the Moods series with a brief recap of some parts of the second article.

The ways we can face life

You will recall from Part II that there are three things in life we cannot avoid:

• circumstances over which we have no power, authority or control over (philosophers use the word “facticity” to express this);

• uncertainty about how the future will unfold; and

• the availability of possibilities and opportunities. 

Each of these are integral aspects of our Being. You may also recall that, predominantly out-of-awareness, we take up a stance or have an orientation towards each these aspects, which is to (i) oppose or not accept or (ii) accept.  We looked at specific moods that can typically arise from continually opposing – resentment, anxiety and resignation – and how two or three of these can be occurring simultaneously to create an invisible unhelpful mood space that becomes a habitual way of living emotionally.

Finally, we also considered that we do not have to be the victims of what is occurring with us emotionally. Once we become aware of the unhelpful moods we have been living from, we have the capacity to transition to more helpful moods. We cannot change what we do not observe, so being open to acknowledge being in unresourceful moods is the first crucial step in change.

In this article, the focus will be on some moods we can cultivate by accepting (i) what we cannot immediately change, (ii) the uncertainty we are experiencing and (iii) that we can commit to act on possibilities.

A stance or orientation of acceptance

At first glance, accepting what we cannot change and uncertainty can seem passive, perhaps even insipid, continuing to render us as somewhat helpless victims of circumstances. Accepting what are initially unacceptable experiences can sound like giving up giving up and letting others have their way, even allowing them to ride roughshod over us as if we are doormats they can wipe their feet on. Definitely not.

First impressions can be deceiving because a stance of acceptance contains the potential of a powerful existential force. Quite possibly, acceptance could be our most powerful way of being in life. Expressed in another way, acceptance can provide the personal power to no longer remain a victim and experience much greater self-agency, positioning us to have a much greater say in the quality of our lives, regardless of the circumstances we are dealing with. This is because acceptance contains strategic power, positioning us to be clear where we will be best served by taking action and what sort of action will provide the best return for our effort and energy.

All of this can sound like a “sales pitch”, so let’s look a little further into the notion of acceptance. Perhaps a helpful analogy to understand this existential orientation is a fundamental principal in some martial arts, in which the force of an opponent is not resisted but initially accepted (or yielded to) and used to redirect their energy and be influential in such a physical encounter. 

Another comparison that might be helpful is the central place of acceptance in Buddhist philosophy and practice, in which acceptance is the “active, non-judgmental acknowledgment of present reality, including suffering and change” and alleviates “the mental suffering caused by fighting against reality”.

This can be easy to write and speak about, and at times very challenging to apply. What can be helpful is to consider: 

• the nature of specific moods that are likely to be available from an orientation of acceptance; 

• what these moods offer in the development of helpful perceptual and behavioural patterns, positioning us to enhance the quality of our lives; and 

• how we can transition into embodying resourceful moods, thereby developing very different emotional habits. 

Accepting what we do not have the power to immediately change

The world can seem full of many events and circumstances that we find completely unacceptable and intolerable. We can turn away from these, attempt to ignore them, but somehow their ongoing existence can be in the background, niggling at us. Or perhaps we do not want to turn away and at least feel like we are being responsible in not ignoring them. Whatever we choose is a form of non-acceptance and it is possible that we can experience a continual erosion of our wellbeing – mentally, emotionally and physiologically.

Two crucial aspects of acceptance to strongly emphasise are that it is: (i) not agreeing with what has occurred and (ii) being clear that what has occurred is not consistent with our standards. What counts is how we position ourselves existentially in relation to what we can strongly disagree with. We can oppose or fight against it or accept it. Either existential orientation has an important emotional component that is lived as a mood. We have seen that opposing facticity can lead to a mood of resentment, which may be helpful at first but not likely to be so in the long run. Let’s look at the mood that can accompanies accepting facticity.

The mood of acceptance

Part of the language of the mood of acceptance are such present tense expressions as, “it is what it is” and “that’s how are things are for now”, and in the past tense is “the fact of what has happened cannot be changed, but the meaning that is made of it can be different.” Part of the power of this mood is that frees us from continually dwelling un unpleasant aspects of the past; i.e. not getting caught up in negative memories of the facticity our personal history. In other words, we have come to terms with what we know cannot be changed. 

in the face of negative social, cultural and political circumstances, some of which will be experienced as a horrific, disgusting and disgraceful, the beneficial power of the mood of acceptance can be easily misunderstood. It can be regarded as a passive mood, of rolling over and giving up, but, as previously suggested, it is probably our most powerful mood with the strategic power to be clear where and how we will get the best return for our effort and energy. And more than that, as an existential orientation of coming to terms with what we do not have the immediate power and authority to change, it is the essential basis for developing the long-term resolve to improving unsatisfactory situations.

In resentment, we give authority to something that happened in the past to determine our present experiences and orientation to the future. In acceptance, we have taken our authority to decide how we will relate to the past, live in present and engage with possibilities for the future.

One expression of the power of acceptance is that we can move from being at war with the past to making peace with the past, positioning us to move on and have a stronger orientation to the sort of future we want to create. What does not make this a passive mood is that in the background is a latent desire and commitment to take action to rectify the situation. 

All of this is not to suggest that we can simply shrug off what we find unpleasant, unacceptable and perhaps intolerable about recent and more temporally distant events. If only it were that easy. However, another part of the power of a mood of acceptance is that it provides a very different emotional platform from which to go forward in life, compared with the mood of resentment. Rather than being oriented towards punishment and revenge, acceptance is the essential foundation on which a number of other moods develop, one of which is called righteous indignation.

The mood of righteous indignation

An important clue to the nature of this mood is the last word – “indignation”. This is a mood in which we make a make a clear and definite stand on our dignity, refusing to allow it to be compromised. It is important to highlight that dignity is a combination of deep self-respect and a strong sense of fundamental worthiness as a person It significantly differs from resentment because rather than being oriented to punishment and revenge, righteous indignation is oriented to justice.

Considering the word “righteous” is also important, because it can be associated with the notion of self-righteousness, consisting of arrogance (having the only correct view) and superiority.  This is not the ontological meaning of this word in the context of righteous indignation. Righteous in this context refers to a fully grounded and justifiable stance of having been significantly wronged, which can be clear evidenced from the lived experience of one or more people.

Acceptance is an integral part of this mood, because if we strongly oppose what occurred in the past we are locked into what can be called a restricted temporal horizon, in which the only future possibilities envisaged focus on revenge (e.g. getting even, hitting back). Freeing ourselves from preoccupation with the past expands the horizon for possible action to address our dignity. 

It can be interpreted that some historical examples in the form of social justice movements illustrate the power of righteous indignation to bring about significant difference.  These are: 

• Political activism in the early 20^th century lead by Emilie Pankhust and other courageous women who organised the British suffragette movement that gained women right to vote. 

• Mahatma Ghandi’s leadership role in India's independence movement against British rule.

• Martin Luther King leading the civil rights movement in the USA.

• Nelson Mandela’s significant contribution to overthrowing apartheid in South Africa. 

Going a little further with the example of apartheid, there is no question that Mandella was in resentment in the early years of the struggle, but during his 27-year imprisonment he seemed to have found peace within himself and was powerfully influential despite his incarceration. 

Transitioning from resentment to acceptance and righteous indignation

Changing moods is not like flicking a switch, as in turning a light on or off.  Unfortunately, the expression “regulating emotions” may create this impression. Perhaps the word “transitioning” may be helpful, indicating that it is sometimes a gradual process of moving towards a different deep “emotional centre of gravity”.

Within the limited space of this article, here are two ways that can facilitate moving towards acceptance and, if appropriate, righteous indignation. Firstly, being willing to address what can be referred to as some respectfully provocative questions, such as:

• What do you know you cannot change that you insist on fighting against and refuse to accept? 

• How does remaining in resentment take care of you? 

• How committed are you to remain in resentment? 

• What will you give up if you live more from acceptance? 

• How can you take the energy of anger and feeling unfairly and unjustly treated and harness it for constructive action to eventually gain justice?

Secondly, all moods live in the body. This is because our emotional experiences occur within the nervous system, which is throughout our physiology. To ignore the role of the body is to significantly compromise the possibility of developing resourceful more sustainable helpful moods. A possible somatic application is the following: 

• Think of a time when you were unfairly and unjustly treated and you wanted to get even. Notice what happens in your postural arrangement, muscle tension and breathing. 

• Next, literally shake off the mood by shaking all your limbs and head, as well making brushing movements down each limb, your shoulders and torso to brush away resentment 

• Then think of a time when something happened that you did not agree with, and recognised that there was nothing immediate you could do about it. You eventually came to terms with what occurred and wanted to get clear about what you could do to improve the situation. What do you notice about your postural arrangement, muscle tension and breathing.

• What possibility does this different way of being in the body compared with resentment for minimising, reducing or even eliminating the lasting negative effects of resentment? How can you create a somatic habit, routine or practice that can assist in the consolidation of acceptance and, when necessary, righteous indignation? 

At any point in time, there is much in the world to be angry about, perhaps more so as the 21^st century has unfolded. Righteous Indignation combines the anger of resentment as a motivating “fuel” with the pragmatism of acceptance and ambition to live from a mood of deep resolve, which is a very different meaning to live from compared with resentment alone. 

Ambition: a mood that is latent within righteous indignation

A dictionary description of ambition is “a strong desire to do or achieve something”. Sometimes this is regarded negatively as being a ruthless and uncaring attitude towards others in a quest for selfish gain. Certainly, this does occur and it can be helpful to think of this as being excessively “ambitious”. This will be addressed further at the end of this section.

The flavour, or spirit, of ambition as a resourceful mood is that it is an existential stance of openness to recognise and act on possibility for the benefit of self and others. This mood is an embedded commitment to initiate and/or be part of creating something, being prepared to overcome obstacles and not be diverted from what is necessary to bring a different future to fruition. Key emotional ingredients of this mood are foundational emotions of hope, passion and enthusiasm, amplified by determination, persistence, patience and courage. Sometimes the word “grit” is associated with this mood.

Another way of understanding ambition is that it is lived as deep resolve. In this mood we are prepared to do the “long haul”. Referring to the previously mentioned social justice examples, each of them took years, even decades, and without ambition being present it is highly like that each cause would have been lost and the unsatisfactory status quo maintained.

You may recall from the previous article (Part II) that unlike ambition, which accepts and embraces possibility, resignation denies possibility. It can be entrenched and stubborn, an emotional form is “digging the heels in”, and frustrating to deal with. A crucial starting point to engaging with resignation, your own or someone else’s, acceptance. This means recognising and accepting the existence of the mood, which is essential to create the possibility of transitioning to ambition. This can occur through a combination of the following:

• Firstly, once there is awareness of being in resignation, we can ask ourselves or respectfully ask someone else, in a genuinely curious tone “What possibility/possibilities are you committed to continually deny?”

• Secondly, sharing a likely paradox that accompanies the awareness of being in resignation, which is that with this awareness there is no way to avoid the realisation that a choice is being made to either remain in resignation or seek to transition from it towards accepting possibility and ambition.  This makes clear that there is agency involved in whatever choice is made and blaming external circumstances cannot be justified.

• Thirdly, to encourage a minimal shift by asking, “What is the smallest possible change you would be comfortable to make? How do you think you will begin to do that?”

Being in experiential touch with the body of ambition is also crucial. Try these things:

• Stand up in a relaxed manner, take 2-3 easy breaths and long exhales and then put your best foot comfortably forward.

• Lift you eye gaze to look to an imaginary horizon of a desirable future, perhaps seeing an image of it having come to fruition.

• Imagine your chest as a piano accordion (“squeeze box”) that is opening out so that you gradually expand across the top of the chest, opening your body to possibility.

• Shift your weight to be slightly over the balls of your feet and having a sense of leaning towards and into the desired future.

• Perhaps also feel the momentum of beginning to move forward, maybe even taking a couple of steps into the future.

If our body does not know the feel of a mood, we are very unlikely to “live it”.

It is important to add a qualification to this mood, as there can be a destructive version, perhaps more kindly described as “unhealthy”. This is a mood that combines arrogance, superiority, excessive self-centredness, exclusivity, as well as existential blindness and deafness. A label for have this as a stance in life is a mood of zealotry. 

A dictionary description of a zealot is “a person who is fanatical and uncompromising in pursuit of their religious, political, or other ideals.” Being in a mood of zealotry means being the truth-holder (not “a” truth-holder” but “the” truth-holder”), utterly convinced of their rightness, the only one who knows what is right and best, willing to squash others in pursuit of their ideals and goals, which can include being malevolent and vengeful; in other words, “my way or the highway”. Zealots require followers who exist in a form of slavery, with little or no opportunity to share other possible perspectives, willing to continually do the bidding of the superior truth-holder. Zealots do not respect others as fellow-humans, regarding them favourably only as long as they remain converts to the cause. 

Unfortunately, this is not a pleasant note on which to end this section, so it is worth recapping the essence of what we can now refer to as “healthy ambition”. This is a mood of deep resolve. Although there is a rock-solid commitment to bringing about a better future, it is flexible and inclusive in the light of experience, open to modifications of what can be created and how this can be brought about. It is not about squashing those who do not agree but genuinely wanting to make a contribution to the world being a better place for many others. 

Let’s now move on to consider a key mood that goes hand-in-glove with ambition and is inextricably linked with the power of imagination.

The mood of wonder

The power of this mood is that it positions us to accept uncertainty. The world has always been an uncertain place, ranging from devastating natural events like earthquakes, volcanoes, fires and huge intense storms that are experienced as disasters, through to the effects of the major social, economic and political shocks, that affect millions and sometimes billions of people. It seems that the world has become an increasingly uncertain, unpredictable and volatile place, posing significant constant challenges for human adjustment and adaptation to ever-changing circumstances.  

Living from a fundamental mood space that combines acceptance, ambition and wonder is an essential predisposition for behaviour that enables successful adjustment and adaptation to changing natural and human environmental conditions. Wonder frees up imagination, which is where possibilities for the future live in the human nervous system. This is the mood of the child, ever inquisitive and continually open to the learning what the world offers. Albert Einstein wrote that imagination is more powerful than knowledge because it is where all that we do not yet know exists.

Wonder is an emotional orientation of continual inquisitiveness and curiosity, with an almost insatiable desire to explore and discover. This mood is so crucial to taking us beyond habitual perceptual and behavioural patterns that no longer serve us in changed life circumstances. It is a mood that enables us to envision a different future and how we can act on perceived new possibilities. It is a mood that enables our flexibility and dexterity by expanding what and how we can learn. More than ever, it seems that our time in human history is continually calling on us to be learners and not remain trapped in outdated learning and ways of learning.

We can use language in a particular way to transition towards this mood by using wonder as a verb, immediately followed by the words “how”, “what”, “when” or “where”. For example, “I wonder how I will manage to have this challenging conversation?” or “I wonder what I could be doing differently to improve this situation and my future possibilities?” 

Closing comments

Within the limitations of space and the written word, this article and the previous two articles have hopefully scratched the surface of one aspect of what philosopher Martin Heidegger referred to as our “potentiality-for-being”. As well as being human beings, we are also human becomings, with the innate potential to continually engage in possibility and being willing to encounter new futures.

As a species, our distinctive evolutionary potential is to generate new meaning that will better enable us to individually and collectively create a better world. We have seen that the emotional domain of human existence is an integral part of meaning. Much our evolutionary potential exists in how we are living emotionally. Each of us is a distinctive emotional possibility. This was beautifully emphasised by Heidegger through the distinctions of moods and counter moods. 

We do have to be the unwitting victim of our moods. Part of our potential is that we can be prepared to recognise them and willing to learn how to transition to more resourceful moods. One such transition is moving from Resentment -> Acceptance (and Righteous Indignation if relevant) -> Ambition and Wonder. The articles have articulated the essential nature of these moods, along with some initial practical pointers of how to move towards more resourceful moods. Practical pointers can be helpful, and at times are essential to develop the momentum required for a mood shift. However, more than this is required.

What is required is the cultivation of an underlying way of being that is deeply committed to making a fundamental mood shift. Paradoxically, moving towards more resourceful moods (or counter moods according to Heidegger) requires being in a mood that will facilitate emotional learning and change. Recall from Part I that moods are predispositions for action. Therefore, developing resourceful moods is a form of action – we are doing something. So, what mood could be very helpful to develop counter moods?  One possibility is the mood that has been referred to as “deep resolve”. This is a mood of deep commitment to continually engage in emotional learning and emotional change, which includes continually expanding emotional awareness and experimenting with different ways that facilitate emotional shifts.  However, another mood is required to enable deep resolve, and this is acceptance. It is crucial to acknowledge and accept the moods we find ourselves in, especially the less than helpful moods, not denying or fighting against their existence in our being. Acceptance opens the door to develop and act on the commitment to transition to more helpful moods that contain new possibilities for how we can live individually and collectively.

A word of caution is required in embarking on a quest to develop counter moods. It can be all very well to be aware of different moods we can live from, but if deep down within us we do not really feel and believe that is possible, we will remain an emotional victim. This sentiment is itself a mood, one that is probably the sneakiest and most sinister of all moods, which is highly effective in blocking change that you will now recognise as resignation. In this mood we can say the words that indicate we desire to develop counter moods, but without realising it, this mood has us continually blocks us, acting like a silent saboteur. Each of us is a possibility for how we can live and contribute to others and resignation betrays this potential.

Shifting moods and transitioning to different moods is not rocket science. To live from a different mood is to embody the mood – to being in a very different way of being in the body to the habitual mood space that has not served us well. A mood is a whole way of being; it is manner of living. To live from a different mood is to live a different perceptual and behavioural existence. 

A more detailed exposition can be found in Volume II of Coaching to the Human Soul: Emotional Learning and Ontological Coaching.