The Transformative Power of Ontological Coaching: More Than Just Changing Behaviour

By Alan Sieler

“Real learning gets to the heart of what it means to be human.” – Peter Senge

In times of complexity and change, conventional coaching tools, those that focus on skills, tactics or short-term behaviour change, often fall short. What people truly seek is transformation. And that begins, not with what we do, but with how we are.

Shifting the Foundation: What Is Ontological Coaching?

Ontological Coaching is a profoundly human approach to development that focuses on our Way of Being, the dynamic interplay between our language, emotions, and body. This is the inner world from which we perceive, communicate, act, and ultimately create our results.

Rather than surface-level tweaks, Ontological Coaching facilitates deep, enduring shifts by exploring the root causes of our limitations: the stories we live in, the moods that shape us, and the embodied postures that quietly define our possibilities.

Case Study: Karen’s Breakthrough

Take Karen, a real estate manager who came to coaching feeling stuck, financially strained, disconnected, and unable to ask for what she wanted. Through a powerful process called the Conversation for Clarity, her coach uncovered deeply rooted beliefs: that she couldn’t have what she wanted, that she wasn’t worthy, and that she was “stupid.”

These weren’t facts, they were assessments she had absorbed in childhood and carried into adulthood. Through ontological distinctions in language, such as separating assertions (facts) from assessments (opinions), Karen began to unravel the ungrounded stories running her life.

By questioning the purpose and validity of these beliefs, Karen saw them for what they were: learned patterns, not truths. This opened the door to transformation.

Language Shapes Reality

We don't just engage in language to describe our lives—we use it to create them. The way we talk to ourselves (our inner dialogue), and the way we speak to others, reveals our perceptions and shapes our outcomes.

Ontological coaches are trained to listen for how language generates reality—especially through “basic linguistic acts” like:

• Declarations (“I am worthy”)

• Requests, offers & promises (essential tools of cooperation and coordination)

• Assessments (our opinions, often mistaken as truth)

The shift begins when clients learn to speak powerfully, make grounded assessments, and challenge the narratives that no longer serve them.

Moods and Emotions: The Invisible Influencers

Karen also lived in persistent moods of anxiety and resentment, emotional states that significantly dimmed and limited her worldview and stifled possibility.

Ontological Coaching helped her name and work with these moods. She saw how resentment bound her to the past, and anxiety kept her fearful of the future. Both narrowed her capacity to act, connect, and thrive.

By recognising her moods not as identity but as temporary predispositions, Karen was able to soften them—and create space for more empowering and enduring ways of being emotionally, such as the moods of acceptance, ambition, and wonder.

The Body as an Avenue of Change

Finally, Karen’s transformation wasn’t just mental, it was physical. She discovered how her body posture was literally embodying her unhelpful moods. Locked knees, a tense jaw, a forward-leaning posture, all silently reinforcing her internalised story of being “not enough.”

With her coach’s guidance, she explored small but profound postural shifts. Standing tall, breathing differently, relaxing her jaw, these changes helped her access different moods and a new Way of Being. One where she felt lighter, more confident, and more capable of asking for what she wanted.

A New Lens, A New Life

Ontological Coaching isn’t about “fixing” people. It’s about honouring their full humanity, and guiding them to reconnect with their resourcefulness, resilience, and legitimacy.

Karen left coaching not only with greater clarity and emotional freedom, but with a new embodied story: “I am worthy. I am not broken. I can have what I want.”

Why This Matters

In today’s world, where burnout, uncertainty, and disconnection are rampant, the tools of ontological coaching are more relevant than ever. When we shift the way we are fundamentally being, we unlock new ways of thinking, feeling, relating, and creating results that matter.

If you’re ready to move beyond behaviour change into deep personal transformation, Ontological Coaching offers a path not just to change your circumstances, but to change your life—from the inside out.